“I feel like crying, but I’m holding back…” An old friend shared that in an email with me recently.

Life had thrown her a curve ball and she was unprepared and angry. When I asked her why she wouldn’t allow herself to cry when she had every reason to be upset, she responded: “I feel that crying is saying I am not strong.”

Gosh, how many of us got that memo in our lives?

I know in my family I’ve always been known as the “sensitive” one. Sometimes my tears were hard for people to understand. While I didn’t get the message that I was weak because of my tears, I did get the message that something was wrong with me…

Fortunately as I near age 50, I no longer judge my tears or care what other people might think of them. Whew, I’m glad about that. I understand that my tears are a way for my body to release; to de-stress even. My emotions, I understand now, are trying to tell me something. Sometimes the timing isn’t great, I’ll give you that! For example, it’s irritating when I cry and I’m trying to, say, give a talk – but I understand that I just have to be patient and let the emotion pass.

My advice to my friend: Cry. Let it out. Stomp your feet, even. Because I gave my friend permission to cry, she was able to give herself permission. I say skip the middle man. Just have a good cry!

- Seeking the Greatest Good encourages you to find the wisdom that is within you.

What does it means to live spiritually free?

In honor of Independence Day, three congregants of Unity Center Cedar Rapids were invited to speak about how they chose to leave steady jobs to pursue their spiritual freedom.

My husband, Ken, and I were honored to be two of those who spoke July 3, 2011 about moving through fear to freedom.

LISTEN to the podcast “Facing the Fear.”

- Seeking the Greatest Good encourages you to find the wisdom that is within you.

Lately I’ve been challenging the way I define myself.

For example, I’ve always said I’m a terrible (wall) painter. I think I go too fast. I’m messy. I always just hire it done.

Now that my 19-year-old daughter has left home, I’m transforming her former bedroom into my new writing space. First up: Painting over the burgundy-colored walls with white paint (a great color for creativity, according to feng shui principles—provides a ‘clean slate’ on which to create). My sister Jeanne loves to paint so I hired her to paint the room. Within a couple hours, she had a coat of primer on the walls—then she went home. The next day, she planned to return to put a second coat on the walls.

That night, I went in the room, looked at the paint can and decided to do the second coat myself. And you know what? I liked it—AND I did a good job. Now I can no longer describe myself as a terrible painter.

I’ve taken a negative belief about myself, challenged it and, in the end, realized it wasn’t even true. While I may still hire it done, there’s something powerful in knowing I really can do it myself. It feels like I have a choice in the matter now—that I’m not hiring it done because of my inability to do it myself. It gives me one less negative thing to say about myself.

Next up: Challenging my belief that I can’t bake a pie!

What story do you tell yourself about you? Maybe it’s time to take a look at that story and see if it’s really true. Powerful stuff, I’m telling you…

- Seeking the Greatest Good encourages you to find the wisdom that is within you.

In asking for someone who is working through some issues, I received this. I trust there is a nugget or two for us all:

She is embarking on a fabulous journey. She is creating for herself the life she has always wanted to lead. And she is taking it step by precious step. She is untangling the parts of herself that have been tangled en masse; that have not served her well; that have held her from her greatest good. Continue this magnificent work. See clearly the possibilities. Remember that you are in control. You are indeed creating the reality of your existence. It can appear terrifying to realize the true magnitude of your power, but dear one once you realize the mind-body connection, there is no turning back; there is no thinking in a way that is not productive and saturated in your highest good.

As you explore the parts of yourself that you desire to mend, be gentle. Do not regret days gone by. Do not wish for different outcome. Trust that all were necessary for your growth and those of others. You are asking for a better way and it is being provided. This is magical. This is nourishing. Imagine if you will the depths of hunger. Is it not then that you realize your thirst? That you realize how joyful you will be when you place to your lips a cup of nourishment? Ahhh… it is the same. Without the hunger you cannot imagine the joy of completion. And so it is the same, dearest. It is the same. The contrast provides acknowledgment that true progress has been made. It indicates the joy of the experience.

You are on the right path. You are seeking truth, not judgment and this is good and this is fine. Do not despair. Do not assume this is too large to repair. It is not. It is about choice. It is about deciding to partake in a different way. The focus must remain at your feet. Do not allow yourself to rewrite history or to jump forward and imagine “what if?” What is important is this day, this moment, this hour. Not this decade. Not years past, but now. Know that you have made a choice and in this decision, you have created all that you desire. This is not pie in the sky. This is not “maybe.”

This is truth. It can be no other way.

- Seeking the Greatest Good encourages you to find the wisdom that is within you.

Recently, I received guidance for someone that it was important for her to turn her attention inward. She is a very driven, goal-oriented person and she kept asking “why?” “Why is it important to DO that?” I asked for clarity for her and this is what I received. I hope you find it helpful in your life:

“This is a time of great self-exploration. It is a time when you will truly discover your purpose. It is easy for one to think that the work they are to do in this lifetime is practical; but it goes much deeper than simply X, Y, and Z.

This is a time to turn within. As you go within, you will discover the breadth of your soul. It will be almost like meeting another. It will be a feeling of coming home – to purpose, to place, to a deep understanding of what this lifetime is about. Sweet one you are goal oriented. You are “doing” oriented, and while this is good and kind, it is not ultimately about that.

(Spirit she is wondering why. Why go within? Why would anyone do that? What is the purpose? Why is it important?)

The need for self-exploration, for spiritual renewal, is necessitated by the soul. It is the soul’s goal to assist you in th is manner. It is “work” if you will, that you asked to do when you came in in this lifetime. For you it is a time to explore self worth. It is a time to recognize the power; not of doing but of being. This is needed sweet one because your soul is in the process of evolving. It is asking for more. It is asking for guidance. It is asking to bring into this earthly realm what it needs to thrive.

A question sweet one to take into meditation is “what is it you desire? What is in my highest good to know at this time? It is a deep and probing question. Then you must trust what comes first in the stillness of the mind is for you to know.

By furthering your development in this way, you will enrich the parts of your life that are more visible. You will feel calmer. You will feel more energetic. You will feel more focused. But at your core you will feel settled; as if you have been let in on a big secret and you are enjoying the depths of this knowledge. You will see your relationships flourish. You will literally feel your heart unfurl.

(So how best for her to proceed?)

Sit quietly. Still the mind. Allow it to empty out. Spend five minutes writing, allowing the mind to empty out of its noise. Write whatever comes to mind, even the dullest. And then sit.

Bring your mind back to center: This moment, right here, right now. It does not have to be for hours; it can be for a moment. But it is a moment that will prove the most important in your day. Steadily increase the time. Trust that this is possible. Release doubt. Release nervousness. Release the idea of “I can’t” and replace it with the notion, “I must.”

This is a blessed time, a sacred time, a time when you will feel more connected to life than ever before. Trust this process.

Blessed be. Amen and amen.

- Seeking the Greatest Good encourages you to find the wisdom that is within you.