“I feel like crying, but I’m holding back…” An old friend shared that in an email with me recently.

Life had thrown her a curve ball and she was unprepared and angry. When I asked her why she wouldn’t allow herself to cry when she had every reason to be upset, she responded: “I feel that crying is saying I am not strong.”

Gosh, how many of us got that memo in our lives?

I know in my family I’ve always been known as the “sensitive” one. Sometimes my tears were hard for people to understand. While I didn’t get the message that I was weak because of my tears, I did get the message that something was wrong with me…

Fortunately as I near age 50, I no longer judge my tears or care what other people might think of them. Whew, I’m glad about that. I understand that my tears are a way for my body to release; to de-stress even. My emotions, I understand now, are trying to tell me something. Sometimes the timing isn’t great, I’ll give you that! For example, it’s irritating when I cry and I’m trying to, say, give a talk – but I understand that I just have to be patient and let the emotion pass.

My advice to my friend: Cry. Let it out. Stomp your feet, even. Because I gave my friend permission to cry, she was able to give herself permission. I say skip the middle man. Just have a good cry!

- Seeking the Greatest Good encourages you to find the wisdom that is within you.

I got a text message this morning: “Send me positive thoughts today cuz I’m stressin’!”

And so I did—along with a reminder to breathe.

I know that feeling—when you just need to reach out to someone else to hold the space of peace for you. I was grateful to receive that message on a day when I felt peace through and through me.

My husband and I recently realized how we each take turns freaking out. Rarely are we in that same frenzied space at the same time. Thank goodness. When I’m down, he can usually help make me smile. When he’s worried, I can usually help him to see that worry won’t change anything.

Imagine we all have someone in our lives we can go to during those times of stress. It’s particularly nice, though, when we can talk our own selves off the cliff…Turn within and ask the bigger questions: “What’s behind the fear (worry, doubt, anxiety)? That’s where the power is. That’s where the peace lives.

Still, I’m grateful for my husband and the many people in my life who see the Truth of me—and can help me to see it on the days when I simply cannot.

- Seeking the Greatest Good encourages you to find the wisdom that is within you.

What does it means to live spiritually free?

In honor of Independence Day, three congregants of Unity Center Cedar Rapids were invited to speak about how they chose to leave steady jobs to pursue their spiritual freedom.

My husband, Ken, and I were honored to be two of those who spoke July 3, 2011 about moving through fear to freedom.

LISTEN to the podcast “Facing the Fear.”

- Seeking the Greatest Good encourages you to find the wisdom that is within you.

My husband and I recently took my 9-year-old niece and 7-year-old nephew to a waterpark.

My niece wouldn’t go anywhere near the waterslides. She was content to spend most of her time floating on an inner tube. My nephew, with Uncle Ken in tow, headed right to the waterslides—even encouraging his uncle to go down when Ken showed just a hint of fear.

My nephew, though, steered clear of the “really big” waterslide. He was too afraid to go down that one, he told me. But toward the end of the first day at the park, I saw him grab an inner tube, climb a staircase that even as a grown up looked daunting to me. He reached the top of the stairs, walked up to the waterslide, put his inner tube down, and climbed on. Then the next thing I knew, he had the inner tube in hand and was heading back down the stairs.

He was too afraid to go down, he told me later.

How often have we done that? Set our mind to overcoming our fear…made the long climb…positioned ourselves just so… and then, just as we’re perhaps ready to go on the ride of our lives, backed out at the last minute due to fear?

What if we just missed out on the ride of our lives?

How about today we put that inner tube down, climb on and launch ourselves down that slide?

- Seeking the Greatest Good encourages you to find the wisdom that is within you.

Lately I’ve been challenging the way I define myself.

For example, I’ve always said I’m a terrible (wall) painter. I think I go too fast. I’m messy. I always just hire it done.

Now that my 19-year-old daughter has left home, I’m transforming her former bedroom into my new writing space. First up: Painting over the burgundy-colored walls with white paint (a great color for creativity, according to feng shui principles—provides a ‘clean slate’ on which to create). My sister Jeanne loves to paint so I hired her to paint the room. Within a couple hours, she had a coat of primer on the walls—then she went home. The next day, she planned to return to put a second coat on the walls.

That night, I went in the room, looked at the paint can and decided to do the second coat myself. And you know what? I liked it—AND I did a good job. Now I can no longer describe myself as a terrible painter.

I’ve taken a negative belief about myself, challenged it and, in the end, realized it wasn’t even true. While I may still hire it done, there’s something powerful in knowing I really can do it myself. It feels like I have a choice in the matter now—that I’m not hiring it done because of my inability to do it myself. It gives me one less negative thing to say about myself.

Next up: Challenging my belief that I can’t bake a pie!

What story do you tell yourself about you? Maybe it’s time to take a look at that story and see if it’s really true. Powerful stuff, I’m telling you…

- Seeking the Greatest Good encourages you to find the wisdom that is within you.