“I feel like crying, but I’m holding back…” An old friend shared that in an email with me recently.
Life had thrown her a curve ball and she was unprepared and angry. When I asked her why she wouldn’t allow herself to cry when she had every reason to be upset, she responded: “I feel that crying is saying I am not strong.”
Gosh, how many of us got that memo in our lives?
I know in my family I’ve always been known as the “sensitive” one. Sometimes my tears were hard for people to understand. While I didn’t get the message that I was weak because of my tears, I did get the message that something was wrong with me…
Fortunately as I near age 50, I no longer judge my tears or care what other people might think of them. Whew, I’m glad about that. I understand that my tears are a way for my body to release; to de-stress even. My emotions, I understand now, are trying to tell me something. Sometimes the timing isn’t great, I’ll give you that! For example, it’s irritating when I cry and I’m trying to, say, give a talk – but I understand that I just have to be patient and let the emotion pass.
My advice to my friend: Cry. Let it out. Stomp your feet, even. Because I gave my friend permission to cry, she was able to give herself permission. I say skip the middle man. Just have a good cry!
